


it is wednesday, my dudes

by couchpotaeto



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Social Media, Twitter, but not me, honestly i've never been on twitter before so 10/10 accuracy here folks, im scared she'll be ooc, mj makes a brief appearance, no beta we die like men, probably most people, probably ooc but who cares, rated teen for language ig??, so my brilliant solution is to not have her at all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-06-02 23:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19452157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/couchpotaeto/pseuds/couchpotaeto
Summary: aaaAAAAAAHHHHHHH((a random twitter fic ?? more likely than you think))





	1. man of spiders

**spooder-dude** @spidey

it is wednesday, my dudes

**> i’m in **@gitc

**@spidey** aaaAAHHHHHHHHH

**> > it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spidey @gitc** uh what

**> > ily spidey <333 **@spideyfan

hey **@spidey** are you the real spiderman?

**> >> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@spideyfan** first of all, it’s spider-man with a hyphen please and thank you

**> >> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@spideyfan** secondly, ye fam it’s a me, spider-man

**> >>> it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

uh **@spidey** are we just taking your word for it? are we just taking his word for it ?

**> >>>> ily spidey <333 **@spiderfan

**@iwonthesitatebitch** yes

**> >>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@iwonthesitatebitch** if it makes you feel any better, you can take **@gitc** ’s word for it

**> >>>>>> it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spidey** uh not to be rude but who tf is **@gitc**??

**> >>>>>>> i’m in **@gitc

**@iwonthesitatebitch** me, bitch

**> >>>>>>>> it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@gitc** that answers absolutely nothing 

**> >>>>>>>>> i’m in **@gitc

**@iwonthesitatebitch** me @ my teachers every day at school

**> >>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@gitc** mood

**> >>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@gitc** but also bitch you have a 4.4 gpa 

**> >>>>>>>>>>>> i’m in **@gitc

**@spidey** bitch you have a 4.4 too

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@gitc** ye i’m smort

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> i’m in **@gitc

**@spidey** rude no need to flex

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@gitc** you’re ruder

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i’m in **@gitc

**@spidey** bitch

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@gitc** b i t c h 

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

**@spidey @gitc** uh what

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spideyfan** my point exactly

  


**:)))))))** @coolio

Is **@spidey** the real Spider-Man? 

**89% | yes**

**7% | no**

**4% | idk**

**huff post** @huffingtonpost

NYC superhero Spider-Man has a Twitter? Read more about it here [link provided]

**NYC Times** @NYCTimes

Local superhero Spider-Man is now on Twitter! Welcome, **@spidey** !

**Daily Bugle** @dailybuglenews

The menace, Spider-Man, has reportedly gotten a Twitter account. Full article attached: [link provided] The validity of the account is still not confirmed.

**numero uno spidey fan** @spideywatch

spidey got a twitter !! **@spidey** ilysm, keep doing what you’re doing !

  
  


**spooder-dude** @spidey

sup

**> nya~ **@idkhonestly

**@spidey** … sup?

**> > spooder-dude **@spidey

**@idkhonestly** how are you doing, my dude?

**> >> nya~ **@idkhonestly

**@spidey** uh good ig hbu?

**> >>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@idkhonestly** amazing !! on patrol today i found a stray doggo and mr. stark’s letting me keep her in the tower!!

**> >>>> nya~ **@idkhonestly

**@spidey** omg that’s so cool! i’m allergic to dogs, so i can’t have one :( what’s her name?

**> >>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@idkhonestly** we haven’t confirmed anything yet, but i was thinking of tessa, mochi, or chewie

**> >>>>>>> nya~ **@idkhonestly

**@spidey** ooh sounds good !! i honestly don’t know which one i prefer so i’ll leave that to you

**> >>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@idkhonestly** that’s fine! i’m planning on making a poll. or asking my aunt. either or.

**> >>>>>>>>> nya~ **@idkhonestly 

**@spidey** if your aunt’s the scary type, i’d advise that you ask her first

**> >>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@idkhonestly** that is… very true. i’ll be sure to keep that in mind.

**ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

smart people i need help

**> ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

who is **@gitc** and what does it mean?

**> > it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spideyfan** unfortunately i’m not smart so i can’t really help you there

**> > it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spideyfan** but i’m thinking a close friend based on how they talk to each other?

**> >> ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

**@itsnotwhatyouthink** :o i think that might be it !!

**> >> ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

**@itsnotwhatyouthink** do you have any guesses on what it might mean?

**> >>> it’s not what you think **@iwonthesitatebitch

**@spideyfan** no, not yet. you?

**> >>>> ily spidey <3 **@spideyfan

**@itsnotwhatyouthink** sadly, no. maybe it’ll come to us later… 

  
  
  
  


**Tony Stark ✓** @IronMan

**@spidey** Why didn’t you tell me you got a Twitter account?

**> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** i operate in the shadows

**> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** i am nowhere to be seen

**> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** you saw nothing here

**> > Tony Stark ✓ **@IronMan

**@spidey** You could never. I heard you screaming about a spider yesterday. You were three floors away.

**> >> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** how dare you ??

**> >> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** rosa was a very scary spider.

**> >>> Tony Stark ✓ **@IronMan

**@spidey** Did you really name the spider Rosa?

**> >>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** ofc i did

**> >>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** who do you think i am?

**> >>>>> Tony Stark ✓ **@IronMan

**@spidey** a dumbass idiot that fights in spandex

**> >>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** that’s fricking rude

**> >>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** take it back

**> >>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** or else

**> >>>>>> Tony Stark ✓ **@IronMan

**@spidey** Or else what?

**> >>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** >:)

**> >>>>>>>> tony stank ✓ **@spideysthebestavenger

**@spidey** Was that really necessary?

**> >>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@spideysthebestavenger** yes.

**> >>>>>>>>>> tony stank ✓ **@spideysthebestavenger

**@spidey** You know I can just change it back, right? They don’t call me a genius for nothing.

**> >>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@spideysthebestavenger** debatable

**> >>>>>>>>>>>> Tony Stark ✓ **@IronMan

**@spidey** There.

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@IronMan** how dare

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> i am ✓ **@ironman

**@spidey** I somehow get the feeling you won’t ever stop… At least this is acceptable.

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude **@spidey

**@ironman** i win !! haha

  
  
  


**numero uno spidey fan** @spideywatch

Is **@ironman** like a father figure to **@spidey** ?

**73% | yes**

**21% | no**

**6% | ??**

  
  
  


**:)))))))** @coolio

Is **@spidey** the real Spider-Man? 

**98% | yes**

**1% | no**

**1% | idk**

  


**spooder-dude** @spidey

i’m apparently smart but like,,, i’m an idiot. a complete dumbass

**30K 217K**


	2. verification requires surprisingly little effort

**it’s not what you think** @iwonthesitatebitch 

guy in the chair !!!

**> it’s not what you think** @iwonthesitatebitch

**@spideyfan** it’s guy in the chair!  **@gitc** means guy in the chair!!!

**> > ily spidey <3 ** @spideyfan

**@iwonthesitatebitch** you are a genius. a literal goddess. a queen. we stan. 

  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

ye i’m verified :D

**43K 248K**

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

someone actually murder me

**> that’s all** @emilylee

**@spidey** … should we be concerned?

**> > spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** yes

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@emilylee** i met thor today

**> >> that’s all ** @emilylee

**@spidey** … and?

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** i tripped and fell on my face

**> >>>> that’s all ** @emilylee

**@spidey** that’s an oof

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** ik :’(

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** on a completely unrelated note, does anyone know where we keep the bleach?

**> >>>>>> that’s all ** @emilylee

**@spidey** i’ve gotta say, i’m like 90% sure you have super fast healing and bleach won’t give you the effect you’re trying to get

**> >>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** sadly, you are entirely correct

**> >>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@emilylee** i could, however, yeet myself off of a tall building.

**> >>>>>>>> that’s all ** @emilylee

**@spidey** sounds fun

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i watched avatar the last airbender

**> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** ooh, did you like it??

**> > spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** i loved it !! i couldn’t watch it before because it isn’t on netflix in the us, but it was in belize, so i spent a long time binge-watching it all :)

**> >> yeet** @beeebo

**@spidey** oh yeah lol i just watched it on a random website

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** it took me so long to finally watch it that it was already spoiled for me that zuko was going to turn good

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** i just kept waiting and it took waaaaay longer than i was expecting

**> >>>> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** omg yes i was re-watching it about a month ago and i completely forgot that it took so long for him to switch… i thought it was going to happen like halfway through the show and clearly that was wrong

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** and the funny thing was that my room at the resort didn’t have wifi, only the main lobby, so i had to download episodes to watch them, and the episode titles and descriptions kept spoiling things for me

**> >>>>>> yeet** @beeebo

**@spidey** lol that sounds awful

**> >>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** eh it was okay, kinda sad but okay

**> >>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@beeebo** and at one point during bingewatching i started reading fanfic but i’m pretty sure the website i was reading it on wasn’t created at the time that avatar came out, so most of the fanfic came from after the show was already finished

**> >>>>>>>> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** oh god oh no i know where this is going

**> >>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** predictably, the fanfic kinda spoiled a few things :/

**> >>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@beeebo** but it  _ was _ fairly entertaining when i was watching a scene and it was word for word what was in the fanfic so i actually knew what they were referencing

**> >>>>>>>>>> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** have you seen legend of korra yet?

**> >>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** no i havent :(

**> >>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** i got distracted with other shows that were on netflix in belize and didn’t watch it

**> >>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** and now i’m watching the good place !!

**> >>>>>>>>>>>> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** i have  _ not _ seen that show yet, so i can’t say anything about it, but i’ve heard that it’s really good!

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@beeebo** yeah i really like it so far, but unfortunately my phone is almost out of battery so i have to wait for it to charge 

**> >>>>>>>>>>>>>> yeet ** @beeebo

**@spidey** glhf

  
  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i lifted thor’s hammer i apparently can be the next king of asgard ???

**1M 2.4M**

  
  
  
  


**shuri ✓** @shuri

i feel the need to point out that when spidey lifted mjölnir, he knocked himself out because he overcompensated with his super strength

**2.7M 5.7M**

  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

apparently it’s not clear enough to y’all that i swing both ways

**897K 1.5M**

  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i’ve been away from wifi for like twelve days and i missed so much fanfic i guess i know how i’m spending my next several days

**> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

update: i have  _ not _ been catching up on fanfic i instead watched the entirety of a four hour livestream where there were many minecraft youtubers stabbing each other for ten thousand dollars

**> > :/ ** @heeeey

**@spidey** minecraft mondays?

**> >> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@heeeey** yeah lol

**> >>> :/ ** @heeeey

**@spidey** honestly i did the same thing bc there wasn’t a highlights video at the time

**> >>>> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@heeeey** good job haha

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i can now, with great confidence, say that i love aang with all my heart. i will mercilessly slaughter anyone who dares to hurt my son.

**489K 1.3M**

  
  
  
  


**i am ✓** @ironman

**@spidey** get back over here or so help me god

**> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@ironman** *ted wheeler voice* what’d i do??? what’d i doooo????

**> > i am ✓** @ironman

**@spidey** You know what you did.

**> >> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@ironman** if you’re referring to the sign outside, that wasn’t me

**> >>> i am ✓** @ironman

**@spidey** Oh yeah? Who else would write “Tony Stark is a good person, you guys are just mean” in webs in-between two skyscrapers?

**> >>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@ironman** i would never.  **@shuri** and  **@potatogun** i choose youuuu !!

**> >>>>> harley ** @potatogun

**@spidey** bitch i think the fuck not

**> >>>>> shuri ✓** @shuri 

**@spidey** i came out here to have a good time and honestly i’m feeling so attacked right now

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i can speed-bridge fear me

**478K 1.2M**

  
  



	3. being stabbed is a very fun time

**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i’m going into hibernation see y’all in two years a stupid fucking movie i love ended in a fucking cliffhanger the next one comes out in two motherfucking years and they rubbed all the deaths of characters in my face i don’t enjoy existence kill me

**1.8M 3.1M**

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

the movie i’m watching: brings up the death of one of my favourite characters

me, crying: ah shit, here we go again

**1M 1.7M**

  
  
  


**shuri ✓** @shuri

i’d like to inform y’all that spidey watched a movie several hours ago and only stopped crying about an hour ago? he’s currently sitting on the ceiling, in shock, and hasn’t spoken a discernible word since the movie ended.

**1.9M 2.1M**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**iced americano ✓** @cap

 **@spidey** changed my Twitter handle and I don’t know how to change it back. Can anyone help me?

**> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@cap** i think it’s perfect, you should leave it

**> i am ✓** @ironman

 **@cap** Leave it.

**> i’m in** @gitc

 **@cap** im sorry it was me i changed it, if you want it changed back please tell me what you want it changed back to i love you don’t hate me forever

**> > spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@gitc** buddy ily but also top ten anime betrayals

**> >> i’m in** @gitc

**@spidey** i’m sorry dude but it’s captain america i can’t just sit back and do nothing i have to help him he’s an american icon if he hates me i don’t know what i’d do with my life

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@gitc** dude he’s captain america he doesn’t have the capacity to hate anyone

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@gitc** except the nazis ig

**> >>>> i’m in** @gitc

**@spidey** true true but i have to do it

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@gitc** if you do it i’ll never forgive you

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@gitc** i’ll hang out with **@mj** instead

**> >>>>>> i’m in** @gitc

**@spidey** ah fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this 

  
  
  
  
  


**numero uno spidey fan** @spideywatch 

who is **@mj**? we know that she’s michelle jones, aka mj, but who is she in relation to spidey? 

**> superwholock** @owo

 **@spideywatch** i’ve figured out that she has an internship with Pepper Potts, which is likely the reason she knows spidey :) 

**> superwholock** @owo

 **@spideywatch** i realize how stalker-y that sounds but it was on her twitter so it’s fair game ig

**> (m)ari(j)uana** @mj

**@spideywatch** fuck off

  
  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

hey **@cawcawmf** fight me

**> hawkeye** @cawcawmf

**@spidey** mario kart, noon?

**> > spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@cawcawmf** you’re on

**> >> i am ✓** @ironman

**@spidey @cawcawmf** as a responsible adult, I feel obliged to say that you shouldn’t do this

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

 **@ironman** 1\. it’s just mario kart?? idk what your problem is lmao 2. responsible? i think not lol

**> >>>> i am ✓** @ironman

**@spidey** i came out here to have a good time and honestly i’m feeling so attacked right now

**> >>>>>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@ironman** uh wtf ????? that is,,, a meme,,, i,,,,

  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i may or may not be obsessed with hypixel skyblock rn

**277K 392K**

  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

help me i was playing town of salem and befriended someone whose nickname was lance mcclain by saying “i hope you remember the bonding moment, buddy <3” and they invited me to their discord server and i don’t know anyone so i don’t speak but it’s really awkward help ive been there for like several months but ive said like two things and at this point i feel like it’s strange to say something but its also rude to not say anything

**574K 1.3M**

  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i’ve got 150k emeralds in hypixel skyblock only 460k to go, yeet

  
**250K 472K**  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

uh some dude just showed up at my apartment and im pretty sure he didn’t have a package so my theory of him being a delivery person seems to be incorrect

**> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

also my aunt told me to not be noticed by him like that isn’t going to make me even more paranoid than i already was and then i hid in the kitchen until he left and i still don’t see a package so that’s fun

**> > spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

and i can hear you thinking “oH bUt yOUr’E sPidER-mAN yOu’Re a sUpErhERo yOU cAn tAke hiM” and yes but i was very paranoid that i was going to get stabbed you dont understand

**> >> i’m in** @gitc

**@spidey** didn’t the whole “lightly stabbed” thing go down yesterday?

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

**@gitc** not giving a single fuck about being stabbed whilst doing superhero-y things doesnt mean that i dont give a single fuck about being stabbed all the time

**> >>>> i’m in ** @gitc

**@spidey** ??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um there was someone at my house like twenty minutes ago and i dont know why they were here and i asked my mom and she said "go somewhere where they can't see you" like that isn't ominous as fuck so now im overly paranoid and im home alone this is really fun


	4. 9/20/19

**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

yo who’s in for september twentieth?

**> i’m in ** @gitc

**@spidey** me !!

**> shuri ✓ ** @shuri

**@spidey** honestly im considering flying over there from wakanda, sounds fun

**> harley ** @potatogun

**@spidey** sure

**> i am ✓ ** @ironman

**@spidey @gitc @shuri @potatogun** You don’t need to raid Area 51, I own it.

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey 

**@ironman** you… own area 51?? :oooo can i see the aliens ???

**> >> i am ✓ ** @ironman 

**@spidey** Thor is an alien, technically. 

**> >>> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@ironman** i. am. an. idiot. i honestly wonder how i passed school

**> >>>> i am ✓ ** @ironman

**@spidey** don’t you have like a 4.4?

**> >>>>> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@ironman** that’s besides the point. and also its like a 4.3 now bc as we determined, im an idiot

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

im number one in the hypixel skyblock sugarcane collection, yeet

**> harley ** @potatogun

**@spidey** i think u mean number one in having no life

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@potatogun** that’s rude :(

**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

im rewatching the great british bake-off (its apparently  _ not _ called “the great british baking show” like it is on american netflix, as ive found out recently) and its honestly such a mood

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i dont know why im crying over eclairs”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

*lies on floor*

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i cant lie, im winging it” in the midst of a show where everyone’s tried to time everything to the second

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

*counts to eleven* where’s the twelfth one gone? what’s wrong with me? *counts to twelve* you’re playing with my mind !

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“im so sorry, this is terrible. im embarrased to serve this, i apologize” *proceeds to get praised by the judges and win star baker*

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“there’s going to be no panic. oh, who am i kidding?”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“im done before everyone else, does that mean i might have done it right?” *proceeds to get last in the technical* 

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i always knew id become a crazy cat lady and its finally happened”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i feel physically sick”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“what i like is that even if you’re middle of the pack, when it’s a small number it’s still a bronze medal” (there are six people left)

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey 

“frankly, if you’ve got a job, or a life, or family, or friends, you dont do this often”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i hate being under stress, and this for me is like four hours of solid stress. like, heart pounding, i cant even function. i thought id get used to the stress, but it doesn’t get better”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“the pressure’s getting to me” -sue, someone who isn’t even baking

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i’ve no idea where those four hours went, or what i did, but i managed to come out the other side and i can, hand on my heart, say that running a marathon is ten times easier than that”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“yay, you’ve said something positive !!”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“it’s never too dramatic, it’s cakes, biscuits, and dessert we’re talking about”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“i think my strategy for this weekend is just to not have an episode”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“it’s like wearing the same dress, but the other person is a six foot three brazilian supermodel”

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

*sits in the middle of a flower field, looking depressed*

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“have you ever seen a violet?” “i think it’s a flower”

  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i suppose i shouldnt build with my gamma all the way up because i cant tell when i need to put torches down and mobs spawn absolutely everywhere and by the time i look up a million mobs are gg 10 flawlessing me

**201K 384K**

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

ive been watchdogged like twice now and honestly idk why. is it for my pvp prowess? my absolute talent in everything i do? the fact that im probably the best player on the hypixel network? the five hack clients i have installed?

**307K 581K**

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

two in the morning is like the peak time to be awake. i can already hear you saying “oh but spidey, you need sleep, why are you up at two” and i raise you the fact that i used to stay up until four

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

also, i get my eight to nine hours of sleep during summer. during school its a different story but i get like eight and a half hours of sleep for a solid two months its great

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

i can see the replies that are wondering why the fuck i consider two in the morning to be the best time so ill just tell you now that its somewhat peaceful and i prefer to have less people around because people scare me

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i was unsure about being able to survive on significantly less sleep during the school year than i get in the summer and was planning on like easing back into the routine of getting up early but i suppose i’ll be okay because i got like no sleep last night and im still conscious and its about noon so im just gonna yolo it ig

**> i’m in ** @gitc

**@spidey** don’t you have like freaky spider powers that help you not die??

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

**@gitc** yes but as theyve decided that apparently my life is not hard enough, they dont stop me from feeling tired, just the whole hallucination and blacking out part so technically i can stay up for longer than most people, its just not very fun imo

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

i was just at school today to turn in some forms and let me just tell you im not ready to confront the reality that school is about to start again and ill have actual responsibilities so i cant slack off and pretend like i’ll survive once im forced to do things myself

**382K 523K**

  
  
  
  


**spooder-dude ✓** @spidey

ive made my minecraft username an italian word bc i have to be like lele pons and constantly bring up the fact that im italian

**> spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

im gonna make a youtube comedy channel and sometimes in the skits, people will just start talking to me in italian or just only talking in italian for no apparent reason

**> > spooder-dude ✓ ** @spidey

“how can you be italian if youre allergic to pasta?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: my birthday is september twentieth
> 
> also, i have revenge entirely memorized for no apparent reason, and half of fallen kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> i have no clue what i'm doing lol
> 
> updates on wednesdays to maintain the theme, just as peter committed to the spider theme even though there was absolutely no reason to since no one knew he got his powers from a spider ( in the mcu at least since he made the webshooters, i understand his reasoning if the webs were organic like in some comics and other movies )
> 
> for your information, it is currently wednesday in california which is where i live i don't care if it's thursday where you live the only validation you require is mine
> 
> but i feel the need to brag about the fact that i got 100% on my geo H final with like minimal effort so i'm a smart person now (also I apparently have a 4.1 weighted gpa but sophomore year is coming to kick my ass)


End file.
